Today I have had to sit back and look a the future of my life. Sit is the operative word. My broken artificial knee is acting up and no amount of pain killers seems to be helping. My wife goes into a nursing home in a few hours. I have two eye surgeries scheduled this week. And unless Congress does something to fix the “great obamacare”. The same obamacare that has turned me down multiple times for surgery needed to repair the broken knee I have had for six years now. Well I don;t see myself climbing back in the wrestling ring.
It’s been fun. I have traveled the world. Met many fans and have been seen by millions. I have busted my butt to give the best show I could each night I stepped in that ring. Even with a broken rib or two I still sucked it up and went out there to entertain the crowds.
Today and tonight my body has been telling me it is shutting down. I was hoping I had at least one more match in me. But right now I’m not even sure I have the ability to head to my car and drive the two hours to get to the surgery center on Tuesday.
It has been fun. I have a few offers this year to do parts in movies. When the time comes, I will decide then. Talking with the doctor I’ll see n a couple days. He said I will likely need two surgeries a month for the next four or five months. I’ve had 58 surgeries already. I do not want another one. My body says no more. I’m sitting at the computer table now looking at the bottles of pain killers. Two hypodermic needles with medicine in front of me, ready to shoot me up again and again and again. Another close to fifty bottles of pills are on the shelf next to me now. Just ready for me to open and take up my next group of pills tonight.
Life is fun. And then you die. My wife is being helped by Hospice now. I live in a retirement home where residents are dying just about every week.
In 1988 I suffered a major stroke and was told I would be a vegetable and likely die with one year. I fought back and got back in the wrestling ring. I was 32. today I am 60. My wife is struggling to stay alive. I am hoping to have maybe one hour just to feel what it is like to be pain free. To not need all these pills and shots just to function as a human being. When obamacare is gone and health care is brought back to what it was back in 2005. Like when I needed a total knee replacement. When I had the surgery within a few days of being told it was humanely impossible for me to walk. Surgery was approved and scheduled within 24 hours. I’m again being told by multiple trained and certified doctors that it is humanly impossible for me to walk on my broken knee. But six years later, even with all the x-rays, MRI's, cat scans and other forms of documentation, including over ten doctors who have signed off on the operation, the surgery is denied, time and time again.
So this leads me to taking another handful of pills and a couple shots tonight. The pain is so bad that I cannot even lay down and go to sleep. I think I know what Michael Jackson was going through when he had the doctor inject that white liquid into him to help him go to sleep. The same medicine the doctors use on most patients to knock them out just prior to major surgery.
I enjoyed playing the character “The Hangman” all these years. I did a lot in the ring and someday would still love to try it again. But now, the pain of my body and the struggles trying to help my wife, in what might be, according to some at hospice, her final moments. The fight is leaving this tired old man. Thanks to all who came out and supported me and supported pro wrestling. I had a blast. I hope you did too.
Blessings to you all. And in the words of “The Hangman”. Hang In There
Now time for a couple injections of medicine and then another handful of doctor prescribed pills. We all got to die. It just hurts to watch your wife and knowing there is nothing you can do to help her other than hold her hand and try to bring comfort to her any way possible.
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